Bet Mishpachah: Bereavement Support Committee

<BODY BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" LINK="#000000" VLINK="#000000" ALINK="#000000"> <CENTER><TABLE><TR><TD WIDTH=20% VALIGN="TOP"> <A NAME="top"> <P> <B><a href="http://betmish.org/text/bereavement.html">Text-Only Version</a></B> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/index.html">Home</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/whatsnew.html">What's New</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/calendar.html#July8">Coming Events</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/drashot.html">D'rashot</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/do.html">What We Do</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/who.html">Who We Are</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/contact.html">Contact Us</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/faq.html">Frequently Asked Questions</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/archives.html">Archives</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a 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</font></font></b><br> <font face="Arial"><font size="-1"><i>Founded in 1975 by Members of the GLBT Community<font color="white" size="-4"> </font></i></font></font></p> </td> <td align="left"> <font size="-4" color="white"> </font> </td> </tr> </table> </center> <h1 align=center>Bereavement Support Committee</h1> <h2>In Jewish Tradition...</h2> <ul><li><P>there are few communal miztvot more important than caring for those who are near death, helping with funeral arrangements, and comforting the bereaved <li><P>observances may vary from Ashkenazi to Sephardi and from Orthodox to Reform, but are all based on such commonly held values as love for our neighbor, respect for the human body, equality before our Creator, and reverence for those who preceded us <li><P>people should not be left to die alone, but should be comforted to the end <li><P>the body should be treated with respect and, if possible, not be left unattended <li><P>early burial, the use of a plain, white shroud, and an all-wood coffin are encouraged <li><P>public viewing, cremation, automatic autopsies, the playing of music at funerals, and ostentatious floral displays are discouraged <li><P>the funeral service includes a eulogy and the prayer Eil Malei Rachamim <li><P>mourners express their grief and remember the dead by symbolically tearing a garment through the ceremony of k'ria at the time of the funeral, and observing shiva followed by mourning periods of 30 days and one year, then reciting Kaddish at annual yartzeit observances <li><P>everyone may participate in the funeral and mourning by shoveling earth over the coffin, preparing a meal of comfort for the bereaved, and visiting and comforting the bereaved during shiva <li><P>charity is given to honor the deceased</ul> <h2>Advance Planning...</h2> <ul><li><P>has been a part of Judaism since Abraham purchased the Cave of Machpela as a family burial place <li><P> provides peace of mind at the time of death, relieves much of the burden placed on survivors, and assures compliance with wishes</ul> <h2>Therefore...</h2> <ul><li><P>select and purchase a burial site <li><P>prepare instructions expressing your wishes about your funeral and leave them where they can be found easily <li><P>prepare a durable power of attorney for health care to provide for someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you become incapacitated <li><P>prepare a living will to express your instructions and wishes for life-sustaining measures should you become terminally ill <li><P>leave instructions for organ donation in case of death <li><P>prepare a will for disposition of your estate <li><P>discuss your plans with members of the Bereavement Support Committee and one of the Rabbis</ul> <h2>Bet Mishpachah...</h2> <ul><li><P>is prepared, in the event of the death of a member or of a parent, sibling, partner, or child of a member, to: <ul><li><P>lead a funeral service at the mortuary chapel, its own sanctuary if available, or at another location arranged for by the bereaved <li><P>lead a burial service at a site arranged for by the bereaved <li><P>arrange for a meal of comfort immediately following the burial <li><P>lead up to three shiva services <li><P>arrange a memorial service and lead an unveiling service</ul> <li><P>is a member of the Jewish Funeral Practices Committee of Greater Washington, which has contracts with local funeral homes. The services provided include: <ul><li><P>transfer of the deceased <li><P>preparation of the body without embalming <li><P>preparation of documents <li><P>a standard all-wood coffin <li><P>coordination with Bet Mishpachah for a funeral service at the mortuary or at a site selected by Bet Mishpachah and the bereaved <li><P>will include the names of the deceased in yartzeit and Yizkor services</ul></ul> <h2>In the Event of a Death...</h2> <ul><li><P>notify one of the Rabbis, the Chair of the Bereavement Support Committee, the Vice President for Religious Affairs, or any other officer of Bet Mishpachah. If you wish to use the pre-negotiated funeral package, refer to the www.jewish-funeral.org web site to determine the closest available facility</ul> <center><table width="100%"><tr><td colspan="2"><center><h2>Other Resources</h2></center> <center><h3>Jewish Cemeteries</h3></center></td></tr> <tr><td colspan="2"><br><br><i>Non-profit:</i></td></tr> <tr><td valign="top">Garden of Remembrance <br>Memorial Park <br>Clarksburg Md.</td> <td valign="top">(301) 428-3000</td></tr> <tr><td colspan="2"><br><br><i>Commercial:</i></td></tr> <tr><td valign="top"><br>Judean Memorial Gardens <br>Olney, Md.</td> <td valign="top"><br>(301) 384-1000</td></tr> <tr><td valign="top"><br>King David Memorial Gardens <br>Falls Church, Va.</td> <td valign="top"><br>(703) 560-4400</td></tr> <tr><td valign="top"><br>Menorah Gardens <br>Rockville, Md.</td> <td valign="top"><br>(301) 881-2151</td></tr> <tr><td valign="top"><br>Mount Lebanon <br>Adelphi, Md.</td> <td valign="top"><br>(301) 434-4640</td></tr> <tr><td valign="top"><br>Chesed Shel Emes <br>Hebrew Free Burial Society</td> <td valign="top"><br>(301) 230-7290</td></tr></table></center> <h2>For Additional Observances...</h2> such as ritual washing (tahara) and guarding of the body (shmira), consult one of the Rabbis. <h2>Suggested Reading</h2> <P>Brener, Anne, <i>Mourning & Mitzvah - A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner's Path Through Grief to Healing</i> 1993 Jewish Lights Publishing <P>Kay, Alan <i>A Jewish Book of Comfort</i> 1993 Jason Aronson, Inc <P>Lamm, Maurice. <i>The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning.</i> 1969. New York: Jonathan David Publishers <P>Maslin, Simeon J. <i>Gates of Mitzvah.</i> 1979. New York: Central Conference of American Rabbis. <P>Rabinowicz, Tzvi. <i>A Guide to Life: Jewish Laws and Customs of Mourning.</i> 1989. Northvale: Jason Aronson, Inc. <P>Riemer, Jack. <i>Jewish Reflections on Death.</i> 1974. New York: Shocken Books. <P>Soncino, Rifat. <i>What Happens After I Die?</i> 1990. New York: UAHC Press. <P>Spiro, Jack. <i>A Time to Mourn.</i> 1985. New York: Bloch Publishing Co. <P>Wolfson, Ron, <i>A Time to Mourn, A Time to Comfort</i> 1996 Jewish Lights Publishing <center><P>Preparation and printing of this brochure was made possible by the David Green Memorial Fund. <P>April 1992 <br>Revised April 2002</center> <p><i>If you would like to become a Shiva Leader or volunteer for the bereavement support committee, please contact <a href="mailto:bereavement@betmishpachah.org?SUBJECT=Request_for_Information_from_Web_Site">bereavement@betmishpachah.org</a>.</i></p> </TD></TR></TABLE></CENTER> <P><HR> <p align="center"><FONT face=Arial><small><small><b>For a description of any of the graphics on this page, click on the D next to the graphic. <BR>For more information, contact our office at <a href="mailto:office@betmishpachah.org?SUBJECT=Request for Information from Web Site">office@betmishpachah.org</a><br> Send comments about this site to <a href="mailto:webweaver@betmishpachah.org?SUBJECT=Comments About Web Site">webweaver@betmishpachah.org</a>.<br> Copyright 1996 - 2008 Bet Mishpachah.</b></small></small></FONT> <CENTER><font face=Arial size="-1" color="#999999"><small><small><P><b>This page last modified on Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 07:59 PM EDT.</b></small></small></font> </CENTER> </body>