Women's Program on Hiatus Through High Holy Days
 
Three months ago, the women’s group met to discuss the future of the program. There was considerable interest in keeping the program going, although possibly in an altered form. However, the last two months have had low attendance, and we’re not exactly sure where to go from here.

Therefore, the women’s program will be going on hiatus until after the High Holy Days, at which point we’ll bring our energy to it once again. If you are interested in being involved in organizing future women’s programs, please e-mail Abigail Haddad at bmal1@betmish.org.  

Step Up and Be My Host - Sukkot the Moveable Feast-ival
 
This year we are again planning to celebrate the festival of Sukkot which comes only a few days after Yom Kippur by gathering in the sukkot of several of our members. Each night we will gather in a different home.

So we are searching for hosts for this year’s moveable feast-ival. You provide the space, your sukkah, and light refreshments, or you can have it as a pot-luck. The
congregation provides you with a lulav and etrog and other ritual supplies. We try to spread the locations around the metro area. To reserve a date to be a host, contact Allan Armus at 703-525-4261 or allan.armus@verizon.net.

The dates and times available are:

Monday        10/13/08     7:30 PM     Erev Yom Tov
Tuesday       10/14/08     7:30 PM     Erev Yom Tov
Wednesday 10/15/08     7:30 PM     Chol Hamoed
Thursday      10/16/08     7:30 PM     Chol Hamoed
Saturday      10/18/08     7:30 PM     Chol Hamoed l
Sunday         10/19/08     Afternoon   Chol Hamoed
Sunday         10/19/08     Evening      Erev Yom Tov


Nominations Sought for 2008-09 Board of Directors 

The Nominating Committee, chaired this year by Mindy Gasthalter, is seeking nominations for the Board of Directors for the 2008-09 Board year.

Do you love our synagogue? Do you wish you could have an impact on decisions made for the congregation’s well-being? Do you have a few hours a month to give to our community?

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, then consider serving on the Board of Directors. The 2008-09 Board will have several at-large positions open, in addition to Vice President for Administration, Treasurer, and President.

At-large board service is not onerous—really! The Board meets once a month to discuss policy and activities, monitor finances, schedule events, and respond to requests for participation in the community—among many other things. Of course, there is e-mail conversation between meetings, but it is not a blizzard, by any means. At-large members have a portfolio of committees or activities, for which they serve as liaison to the Board.

The qualifications for an at-large member are: current membership in the synagogue; a desire to contribute to the health and sustainability of our congregation; a willingness to engage in respectful dialogue with others; and the ability to contribute some hours each month to meetings and other work.

The responsibilities of Officers are more extensive, and sometimes more specialized, but the same basic qualifications apply.

If you are interested in Board service, and would like more information, feel free to speak with any Board member.

To nominate yourself, or someone else, please contact Mindy at nominations@betmish.org. All communications will be kept in strict confidence.


Membership Renewal Season is Here! 

Our congregational membership year began on July 1st . We are able to provide the wide range of services and activities we do because of the support of our members and friends. If you have not yet renewed, please make it a priority to do so.

Membership renewal invoices were mailed to current members in late May. If you never received, or have misplaced, your renewal envelope, please contact Andrea
Perll, Vice President for Membership, at vpm@betmish.org, or go to our web site, http://www.betmish.org/, and click on the “Membership” link on the left side.

And remember that no-one is ever denied membership in Bet Mishpachah because of financial need. To make confidential financial arrangements, please contact Andrea.


Rabbi Saks' Column

For the past few months I’ve been reviewing in our newsletter the Jewish values that we, as a congregation, have chosen to emphasize. These values were selected at not-quite-annual “Values Brunches.” Taken together, they might be stated as follows:

Bet Mishpachah strives to be a welcoming and enthusiastic congregation where harmony and truth reign, and where lovingkindness is practiced and praised.

Each italicized word represents one of the six values we’ve chosen. Over the past three months I’ve written about welcoming/hachnasat orchim; about harmony/peace/sh’lom bayit; and about being truthful in our words and actions and
policies/mi-davar sheker tirchak.

This month I want to focus on lovingkindness - gemilut chasadim in Hebrew—doing deeds of love and kindness.

This value is so fundamental that the rabbis long ago declared it “one of the pillars on which the world stands,” which was their way of saying that it’s one of the things around which our individual lives and society in general must be organized in order not to totter and fall. In selecting it we recognized that it is essential for a healthy congregation as well.

Lovingkindness underlies the other values we’ve been discussing - it’s at the heart of our desire to make others feel welcome, to be at peace with each other, and to be true to our word so no one is misled or disappointed.

In its classic definition, however, it goes further. Jewish tradition ties lovingkindness specifically to concern for the sick and the grieving, and to the support of all who are beaten down.

Having chosen it, we’ve made sure to maintain our practice of giving to two or three organizations each year that are doing good work in the GLBT and Jewish communities.

Having chosen it, we’ve kept our Richard Kopely Emergency Assistance Fund at the ready, to help out folks in need.

Having chosen it, we’ve maintained a conscientious and loving bereavement support committee which responds immediately to news of any death in the community, providing support and guidance, food trays and shiva minyans as needed.

Having chosen it, you, our congregants, have been exemplary in your attendance at houses of mourning, so our congregants know they’re not alone.

Having chosen it, you, our congregants have been loving and kind to members who are themselves ill, providing visitors and meals and travel and shopping assistance as needed.

The choice of our values reflects who we are and who we want to be. The values we choose push us in directions we already want to go. They help make our best impulses a reality.

More from Rabbi Saks . . .

Estranged From Your Parents? Dr. Carol Hausman of the Washington Jewish Healing Network would like to speak to anyone who is estranged, because of sexual orientation, from their parents. She is doing research for a paper she is writing. If interested, please contact her at washheal@comcast.net.

Thinking of Conversion to Judaism, or Looking For a Good Introductory Class? The Union for Reform Judaism offers classes for converts and others every spring and fall. Their fall 2008 classes are now accepting registrants. Full information about the classes, and full sign-up material, is available online at www.urj.org/mac/classes. Classes will be offered in Reston, Virginia and Kensington, Maryland. Space is limited so if interested, don’t delay. Want to discuss it? Give me a call at 301-864-1240.

Gay and Orthodox? Gay in Israel? I have information and links to a couple of dozen recent articles exploring gender issues in Judaism, in the US and in Israel, from multiple perspectives. If these topics interest you contact me at rabbibob@betmish.org and I’ll give you the information you need.

Question of the Month by Rabbi Bob Saks

We fast in Judaism. Most widely known is the fast of Yom Kippur. Less well-known are the fast of the Ninth of Av, and additional minor fast days throughout the year. All of these involve abstaining from food as the primary aspect of the fast, though other abstentions are included, such as refraining from bathing or using perfumes or sexual activity. Prayer is required on these fast days, and to the degree that conversation can heal rifts between people, it is specifically encouraged.

Judaism does know another kind of fast, a mirror image of the one we’ve been discussing. It is a ta’anit dibbur, or “speech fast.” It is not required, and follows no calendar, but is elected by individuals as a personal discipline. One can eat, but not speak, or speak very little. What might be the goal of such a fast? What kinds of speech specifically might a person want to avoid?

Answer to This Month's Question

Judaism’s greatest sages would periodically engage in speech fasts, often around Yom Kippur, sometimes for a day, sometimes for many days running.

Why?

To get to know themselves better and to learn what thoughts are rattling around in their heads.

Undistracted by speech, they could listen more closely to themselves, sometimes hearing things they didn’t like, that they would then know they have to work on.

A “speech fast” might also keep them from gossip, from time wasted in chatter, from angry words and on and on. After all, fully two-thirds of the sins enumerated in the traditional Yom Kippur disavowal of poor behavior, the al chet, are sins of speech.

A variation of the full “speech fast” is suggested by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin in his Book of Jewish Values. He suggests a “complaining fast.” For a week at a time, he and his wife try to refrain from all whining and complaining. It has the virtue, he suggests, of giving people the “space to focus on those aspects of their lives for which they are grateful.”

Sounds like a good idea to me. - Rabbi Bob Saks