Bet Mishpachah D'rash: April 4, 2003

<BODY BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" LINK="#000000" VLINK="#000000" ALINK="#000000"> <CENTER><TABLE><TR><TD WIDTH=20% VALIGN="TOP"> <A NAME="top"> <P> <B><a href="http://betmish.org/text/exclusiondrash.html">Text-Only Version</a></B> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/index.html">Home</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/whatsnew.html">What's New</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/calendar.html#July8">Coming Events</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/drashot.html">D'rashot</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/do.html">What We Do</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/who.html">Who We Are</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/contact.html">Contact Us</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/faq.html">Frequently Asked Questions</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/archives.html">Archives</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/links.html">Links</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/member.html">Membership</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/credits.html">Credits</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/addbook.html">Guest book</A></B></BIG> </FONT></TD> <TD ALIGN=CENTER VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="80%> <CENTER>    <table border="0" align="center"> <tr> <td align="center"> <a href="http://betmish.org/index.html" target="_top"><IMG border=0 src="http://betmish.org/images/banner2.gif" align=center height="104" width="512" hspace=5 alt="Bet Mishpachah banner"></a> </td> <td align="left"> <font size="-5"><a href="http://betmish.org/child/descriptions/banner.html">Banner<br>Description</a></font> </td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center"> <p><font size="-1"><i>Washington, DC's Egalitarian Synagogue</i><br> <i>Embracing a Diversity of Sexual and Gender Identities</i></font> </p> <p> <b><font face="Arial"><font size="+1">Rabbi Bob Saks<br> </font></font></b><br> <font face="Arial"><font size="-1"><i>Founded in 1975 by Members of the GLBT Community<font color="white" size="-4"> </font></i></font></font></p> </td> <td align="left"> <font size="-4" color="white"> </font> </td> </tr> </table> </center> <center><h1>Lessons on Exclusion</h1> <b>Brian Harradine</b> <br><b>April 4, 2003</b></p></center> <P>Leviticus- Being unclean, he shall dwell apart; his dwelling shall be outside the camp <P>This week's parsha deals with being unclean physically and under what conditions a person with skin eruptions is to be considered clean and able to dwell among the tribe once again. This can be an unpleasant and none to appetizing discussion to have right before an oneg so I am switching subjects a bit, and looking at the text midrashically and metaphorically as Jews have done for millennia. <P>Upon reading this parsha I have usually read that cleanliness is a symbol for a person's worthiness to be part of the community. Indeed this is the way the ancient Israelites viewed things and the Rabbis who lived about 1500 years ago also equated physical cleanliness and good health with moral or ethical cleanliness and merit. The question I have asked is should a person who is deemed unclean be excluded from the community? It seems unfortunate to me that a person's suitability to be part of us was judged in ancient times on a superficial level. How sad is it that our tradition cast people out when they were ill and most vulnerable. Exclusion is the last thing that we Jews should do! I see an interesting parallel between a superficial judging system and a system that is more in use today - a kind of structure that determines who's "in" and who's "out" according to the standards of each Jewish denomination. Some people would call this 'halacha'- religious law. <P>Each movement in Judaism has created its own kind of 'halacha' for judging whether a particular individual is to be counted as a member of the community and welcomed. Some are more stringent than others. Others have built in biases to those that do not subscribe to a specific interpretation of the communal halacha. <P>I have been biased about people that have a different view of "halacha" than I do. How this bias developed, whether through education for conversion, influence of friends and family, or an innate human ability to view those with differences with disdain, I cannot say for certain. But I do know that this bias appears in devious and insidious ways that can undermine my functioning in life. Let me offer an example: <P>I used to work with a man in my office who identified with a Modern Orthodox congregation in Reisterstown, MD. My bias initially told me that there was nothing that this man and I would have in common and he could not possibly understand some of things about me, such as being gay, being a convert educated in the reform tradition, and other decisions that I have made about how to express my Jewishness. Notice that all of the statements are about me, and not him. I put up a wall between me and this man. The wall I put up finally came down as we started to talk about the unique things we shared, such as being forced to take vacation time for religious holidays, and getting into interesting discussions about the peculiarities of each of our congregations. He and I had found a common bond, but unfortunately he switched jobs two months later and left the company. How much I missed out on because of my prejudice, I will never know, but it gives me pause. <P>Bet Mishpachah offers a unique place of worship and sense of community because we are unaffiliated with any one movement. We have people with backgrounds from all of the movements who come here to feel comfortable with other gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Jews. At times we have been wise and pluralistic in our inclusiveness. An example would be the open communal discussions we had about the synagogue's tagline and the way we listened to one another. Nonetheless, it has been disturbing to me to see some of the prejudicial ways that we treat one another with in this community. Quite a few of us are so focused on making this community work for us, that we deliberately exclude people who do not think like us, act like us, or observe halacha in the same way we do. Exclusions have been noticed in committee chairs, service leaders, and other leadership positions within the synagogue. If we are to be a functional, egalitarian and inclusive community, these exclusions should no longer be tolerated by the membership. <P>There seem to be two misconceptions that lead to these exclusionary practices. One says that in order for everyone to feel welcome, the strictest interpretation of the halacha must be used at all times. The second school of thought states that in order for everyone to feel welcome, the synagogue must not impose any regulations on activities sponsored by the synagogue and provided by the membership. Neither of these schools of thought meets the needs of the congregation. The first is wrong in that it tends to stifle creative expression, new traditions, and recruiting efforts. The latter is wrong, because if we stand for nothing, than we will fall for everything. There must be a middle ground. Not everyone will be happy with the middle ground, but a synagogue looking to make everyone happy will ultimately fail in its efforts. The point of compromise is to ensure that no one point of view is excluded from the process and that all views are respected. <P>I would like to invite us all to think about these compelling questions posed the Biblical prophet Malachi, "Have we not all one Creator? Did not one G-d create us? Why do we break faith with one another; profaning the covenant of our ancestors?" <P>I have one question to add to Malachi's. Why do we too often exclude others, deeming them (in the language of Tanakh) "unclean" when rich diversity is what makes our synagogue strong? <P>Chazak, Chazak V'nitchazek -- Together, let us go from strength to strength. <P>Shabbat Shalom. </TD></TR></TABLE></CENTER> <P><HR> <p align="center"><FONT face=Arial><small><small><b>For a description of any of the graphics on this page, click on the D next to the graphic. <BR>For more information, contact our office at <a href="mailto:office@betmishpachah.org?SUBJECT=Request for Information from Web Site">office@betmishpachah.org</a><br> Send comments about this site to <a href="mailto:webweaver@betmishpachah.org?SUBJECT=Comments About Web Site">webweaver@betmishpachah.org</a>.<br> Copyright 1996 - 2008 Bet Mishpachah.</b></small></small></FONT> <CENTER><font face=Arial size="-1" color="#999999"><small><small><P><b>This page last modified on Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 12:57 PM EST.</b></small></small></font> </CENTER> </body>