by Nick Napolitano

Intrepid and creative members turn the Village People's "YMCA" into a Bet Mishpachah anthem, singing "You're always welcome at Bet Mishpachah!" (by Denise Watkins)

Larry Neff, who has been actively involved with D.C.’s Gay synagogue Bet Mishpachah for more than 20 years, smiles as he recalls a memory from this year’s high holidays. A woman told the congregation about informing her family she was going to Bet Mishpachah. Her mother and sister, she said, pondered over the meaning of the synagogue’s name.

"One of them said, ‘Well, mishpachah sounds like mishpocheh. In Yiddish that means ‘family.’ And bet is the second letter of the Hebrew alphabet, so it must mean second family.’ Which was incorrect," said Neff, almost apologetically, "but really expresses the sense of the place."

On Saturday, Oct. 30, 140 members of this "second family" — or "second home," which is the actual meaning of bet mishpachah — came together for an evening of song, dance, fundraising, and food to kick off a year-long celebration of the synagogue’s 25th anniversary, which technically falls next year.

The group began in late 1975 when an informal gathering of Gay Jewish men met for high holidays at founding member Joel Martin’s Capitol Hill apartment. According to Jay Dominque, the group’s treasurer at the time, there were 11 men involved, six from Baltimore and five from D.C.

Gazing at the dance floor during Saturday’s celebration, Dominque shook his head and leaned into his cane.

"The young kids now, they don’t know what we went through."

There was no budget, independent meeting place, recognition from mainstream synagogues, or gala events.

"Services and other activities were essentially organized by Joel Martin out of his back pocket," wrote early member Jerald Goldberg, in the synagogue’s newsletter. "Liturgy was based on the old Union Prayerbook (1940) and our Torah was about eight inches tall and kept in a former microscope case." (A Torah is a scroll made from kosher animal parchment, with the entire text of the Five Books of Moses written in it by a sofer, or ritual scribe. Each congregation has its own Torah scroll.)

Joel Wind, Jay Dominque, Al Munzer, and Israel Sheinbein enjoy Saturday night's kickoff celebration for Bet Mishpachah's 25th anniversary. (by Denise Watkins)

With the help of the Metropolitan Community Church, that initial small gathering evolved into Metropolitan Community Temple-Mishpachah and began meeting at the First Congregational Church at 10th and G streets, NW. According to the group’s second president, Michael Greenwald, in 1978, the group changed its name to Bet Mishpachah and moved to Christ United Methodist Church in Southeast D.C.

One of the synagogue’s earliest challenges was drawing women into the fold. From very early on, the men involved were concerned that Lesbians didn’t feel comfortable at their predominantly male gatherings. And so while attending one of her first meetings, Jocelyn Kaplan was elected to the synagogue’s board of directors.

"I just happened to show up at a meeting and they said ‘We’d like to have a woman on board. Would you be willing to run?’ And I said yes," said Kaplan, whose primary task was to recruit women members.

She accomplished this by inviting women from a list generated at a Gay pride festival in 1978 to a special women’s outreach service on the first Friday of every month. She attracted women to the group by inviting popular academic Linda Cozmack, who specializes in women and Judaism, to run a seminar.

As women joined Bet Mishpachah, the congregation became more conscious of the problematic nature of gender-specific references to God within their prayers and liturgies.

"We wanted to try and create something that would be more inclusive," said Kaplan. They succeeded. Members say that Bet Mishpachah is now recognized as a pioneer in writing gender-neutral liturgies, in which they change not only the English but also the Hebrew. Synagogues from throughout the country have obtained prayer books from them, most recently a synagogue in Cleveland.

There have been several other key moments in the group’s history. By most accounts, the first occurred in February 1980 when the Westminster Synagogue in London, which serves as a repository for all Torah scrolls captured by the Nazis during World War II, loaned to Bet Mishpachah on a permanent basis a Torah scroll from the Czechoslovak town of Dolni Kounice, whose Jewish population was eradicated during the Holocaust.

"That was a real milestone for us, to have our own Torah," said Greenwald. Bet Mishpachah has since purchased a second Torah.

Larry Neff fondly recalls a conference hosted by Bet Mishpachah in 1985 in which D.C. Mayor Marion Barry Jr. welcomed conference attendees and proclaimed June 6-9 as "Gay and Lesbian Jews Days" in the District of Columbia.

Al Munzer and Joel Wind perused the items available at a silent auction fundraiser for the synagogue. (by Denise Watkins)

"I think people from other cities were really shocked at that point that a mayor from a major city would show up for something like that," Neff said.

That next year, Neff led the group’s first adult Bat Mitzvah ceremonies, for partners Gloria Korn and Diane Liff. The couple, who first met each other through Bet Mishpachah in 1982, provided the synagogue with its first commitment ceremony later that year, which Neff also officiated.

Other benchmarks for the group included getting their own rabbi, Bob Saks, gaining admission to the Jewish Community Council of Greater Washington, and being invited to lease space by the D.C. Jewish Community Center.

According to the group’s secretary, Milton E. Stern, who together with Ellen Passman chaired the kickoff celebration, Bet Mishpachah has now grown to more than 340 members, regularly attracts heterosexual Jews, and boasts social service programs like family outreach to accommodate the Lesbian "baby boom," bereavement support, and support for its aging members.

"They really take care of you and you really feel that they’re a family," said Neff.

To commemorate their anniversary year, Bet Mishpachah is inviting each former board president to speak at different Friday Shabbat services about their years in office. A gala event scheduled for next summer will cap off the anniversary commemoration.

E-mail The Washington Blade Copyright © 1999 The Washington Blade Inc. Used with permission

This article appeared in the November 5, 1999
issue of the Washington Blade.