On Being a Welcoming Congregation

<BODY BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" LINK="#000000" VLINK="#000000" ALINK="#000000"> <CENTER><TABLE><TR><TD WIDTH=20% VALIGN="TOP"> <A NAME="top"> <P> <B><a href="http://betmish.org/text/welcoming.html">Text-Only Version</a></B> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/index.html">Home</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/whatsnew.html">What's New</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/calendar.html#July8">Coming Events</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/drashot.html">D'rashot</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/do.html">What We Do</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/who.html">Who We Are</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/contact.html">Contact Us</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/faq.html">Frequently Asked Questions</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a href="http://betmish.org/archives.html">Archives</A></B></BIG> <P> <BIG><B><a 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</font></font></b><br> <font face="Arial"><font size="-1"><i>Founded in 1975 by Members of the GLBT Community<font color="white" size="-4"> </font></i></font></font></p> </td> <td align="left"> <font size="-4" color="white"> </font> </td> </tr> </table> </center> <CENTER><h1>How You Can Become a Welcoming Congregation</h1> <i>Compiled by the Jewish Religious Affairs Committee of the <a href="http://www.pflagdc.org/">Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays ("PFLAG") of the <nobr>Metropolitan Washington DC Area</a></nobr> and <a href="http://betmish.org/index.html">Bet Mishpachah</a></i></center> <a name="glbt"><P><B>NB: GLBT refers to gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transsexuals.</B></P> <OL> <LI>The congregation and school will not discriminate against <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> individuals in hiring for any position.<P></LI> <LI>The forms used to enroll people in the congregation or to sign them up for events will recognize that some couples are of the same sex.<P></LI> <LI>If lower dues are provided to married couples, this same privilege will be extended to same-sex couples who have affirmed their relationship in a public ceremony.<P></LI> <LI>The library will include books pertaining to Judaism and homosexuality.<P></LI> <LI>The literature rack and bulletin boards will have information relating specifically to the interests of <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> Jews, <I>i.e.</I>, <a href="http://www.pflag.org/">PFLAG</a> brochures, and <a href="http://www.capitalpride.org/">Gay Pride Day</a> flyers.  Public areas and private offices will have visible indications that the congregation is welcoming to all.<P></LI> <LI>The rabbi/cantor will officiate at same-sex marriage ceremonies, and in other celebrations of same-sex households, <I>i.e.</I>, home dedications, baby namings.<P></LI> <LI>At times when both partners/parents in a family might be on the pulpit together, <I>i.e.</I>, for an <i>aliyah</i> at a bar/bat mitzvah, for an <I>aufrauf</I>, for a baby-naming blessing, same-sex couples will participate in the same way as others.<P></LI> <LI>Pulpit announcements of anniversaries, etc. will be made for same-sex couples as well.<P></LI> <LI>The words "gay," "lesbian," "bisexual," and "transsexual," will be used comfortably from the pulpit and in written material as well.  The more they are used the more welcome the congregation will feel, and the more the congregation will become used to these terms.<P></LI> <LI>The congregation's staff in every position will be aware that there are <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> individuals in every age group, from Hebrew School age to senior citizens.<P></LI> <LI>The rabbi and cantor will make an effort to secure training in counseling <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> people and their families and will be knowledgeable about referral resources in the community.<P></LI> <LI>The congregational leadership will create a climate that allows <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> couples to be visible, and affectionate, in the same ways as heterosexual couples, <I>i.e.</I>, holding hands, kissing after services, dancing together.<P></LI> <LI>To attract new members and/or High Holiday worshippers advertising will include media geared to the <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> community.<P></LI> <LI>The rabbi/cantor will make clear that she/he is comfortable knowing who is <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> in the congregation and that such congregants and their parents should feel comfortable "coming out" to them.  Where confidentiality is an issue, the leadership and staff in every position will be completely discrete.<P></LI> <LI>Occasional speakers from <a href="http://www.pflag.org/">PFLAG</a> and other informed individuals in the <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> community will be invited to address groups within the congregation or the congregation at large.<P></LI> <LI>The social justice agenda of the congregation will include working for <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> rights on the local, state, and national levels.  Public funding for AIDS-related projects, from research to home care, will also be on the social justice agenda.<P></LI> <LI>The congregational school will not assume that its students, or their families, are heterosexual.  Classroom instruction, textbook selection, and parent meetings, etc. will be conducted in this light.<P></LI> <LI>The school will foster sensitivity to <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> persons by providing, where possible, role models on staff as well as guest speakers and field trips to synagogues doing outreach to the gay and lesbian community.<P></LI> <LI>Anti-<a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> bias in jokes and language will not be accepted.<P></LI> <LI>Discussion of the holocaust will include telling of the persecution of <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> persons during the war years and after the war's end.<P></LI> <LI>Diversity as a positive and enriching value will be taught within the school and the congregation.<P></LI> <LI>Sections of the Torah that deal harshly with <a href="#glbt">GLBT</a> issues will be presented with sensitivity.<P></LI> <LI>The congregation will appoint an individual or committee to be a liaison to <a href="http://www.pflag.org/">PFLAG</a> and to help the congregation implement the above list.<P></LI></OL> </TD></TR></TABLE></CENTER> <P><HR> <p align="center"><FONT face=Arial><small><small><b>For a description of any of the graphics on this page, click on the D next to the graphic. <BR>For more information, contact our office at <a href="mailto:office@betmishpachah.org?SUBJECT=Request for Information from Web Site">office@betmishpachah.org</a><br> Send comments about this site to <a href="mailto:webweaver@betmishpachah.org?SUBJECT=Comments About Web Site">webweaver@betmishpachah.org</a>.<br> Copyright 1996 - 2008 Bet Mishpachah.</b></small></small></FONT> </TD></TR></TABLE></CENTER> <CENTER><font face=Arial size="-1" color="#999999"><small><small><P><b>This page last modified on Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 08:03 PM EDT.</b></small></small></font> </CENTER> </body>